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Test Those Breasts ™️
This podcast by Jamie Vaughn is a deep-dive discussion on a myriad of breast cancer topics, such as early detection, the initial shock of diagnosis, testing/scans, treatment, loss of hair, caregiving, surgery, emotional support, and advocacy.
These episodes will include breast cancer survivors, thrivers, caregivers, surgeons, oncologists, therapists, and other specialists who can speak to many different topics.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified health care providers, therefore does not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers.
Test Those Breasts ™️
Episode 80: A Legacy of Love & Resilience: Nancy Kinnear's Daughter Savanah's Metastatic Breast Cancer Story
Nancy Kinnear's powerful story of love and resilience takes us on a journey through the trials and triumphs of supporting her daughter Savanah in her six-year battle with metastatic breast cancer. Nancy shares the unbreakable bond they formed and how Savanah’s strength and advocacy profoundly impacted everyone she touched. Listeners will discover how Nancy’s faith and the steadfast support of her husband continue to guide her through grief and into a purpose-driven life dedicated to honoring Savanah's legacy.
Through Nancy's eyes, we explore the emotional and physical landscape of metastatic breast cancer, revealing the relentless treatments and the strength required to face each day. Savanah's experience underlines the importance of understanding and solidarity within the cancer community, as she championed awareness through involvement with organizations like METAVIVOR and AnaOno. Her journey showcases the unexpected realities of living with this illness and the need for caregivers to be pillars of strength amidst uncertainty and fear.
Savanah’s legacy of love becomes a beacon of hope as her story unfolds. From creating earrings that inspired other women fighting cancer to the lessons she imparted about seeking second medical opinions and embracing life’s love, her enduring spirit lives on. We reflect on the significance of self-care for caregivers and the complexities of making life-altering decisions while facing terminal illness. Join us in expressing gratitude to our listeners and encouraging engagement further to spread awareness and support within the breast cancer community—ensuring Savannah’s story empowers others for generations to come.
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I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified healthcare providers, therefore may not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers .
Hello friends, welcome back to the Test those Breasts podcast. I am your host, jamie Vaughn. I'm a retired teacher of 20 years and a breast cancer thriver turned staunch, unapologetic, loud supporter and advocate for others, bringing education and awareness through a myriad of medical experts, therapists, caregivers and other survivors. A breast cancer diagnosis is incredibly overwhelming, with the mounds of information out there, and other survivors A breast cancer diagnosis is incredibly overwhelming, with the mounds of information out there, especially on Dr Google. I get it. I'm not a doctor and I know how important it is to uncover accurate information, which is my ongoing mission through my nonprofit. The podcast includes personal stories and opinions from breast cancer survivors and professional physicians, providing the most up-to-date information. At the time of recording Evidence, research and practices are always changing, so please check the date of the recording and always refer to your medical professionals for the most up-to-date information. I hope you find this podcast a source of inspiration and support from my guests. Their contact information is in the show notes, so please feel free to reach out to them. We have an enormous breast cancer community ready to support you in so many ways. Now let's listen to the next episode of Test those Breasts.
Speaker 1:Hello friends, welcome back to this episode of Test those Breasts. I am your host, jamie Vaughn, and today I am super excited to have my guest, nancy Kinnear, on my show. Nancy and I actually met online. We are in a private group together and I reached out and wanted to interview anyone who could help our breast cancer community, and Nancy and I got on the phone and had a good conversation about her life and her daughter's life. So she, nancy you know she's got an unwavering love and dedication. Nancy supported her daughter, Savannah, through her remarkable six-year battle with metastatic breast cancer and, inspired by Savannah's unshakable faith, courage and resilience, their enduring bond has sparked a drive in Nancy to carry on her daughter's legacy. Savannah continues to inspire Nancy to cherish every moment, discover strength in challenges and live with purpose. Nancy struggles in her search for who she is in this sea of grief, navigating her new reality in order to find her purpose and meaning in life. Nancy is guided by her faith in Christ and leans heavily on her loving husband. Well hello, nancy. How are you doing today?
Speaker 2:Hi, jamie, thank you for having me, but, you know, not as rough as yours.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, yeah to my audience, I'm pretty sick today. I don't know what I have, but I've been in bed all week. I'm just, you know, kept coming back from Costa Rica and so, but I'm so glad that we got to connect today. You know, nancy, your daughter, savannah, did not pass away very long ago. It was what just did you say last May April. Yes, yes, so this is still very raw and fresh for you, but I'm excited to talk to you because Savannah had a way of making sure that you carried on her legacy to educate and bring her story to as many people as possible. So I'm so grateful that you're here to share that story.
Speaker 1:I would like to start out. I always like to ask my audience. You know who the person was before breast cancer, and so what I would like to ask my audience? You know who the person was before breast cancer, and so what I would like to ask you is what was your relationship? What were you all doing? What was it? What was it all like with you and Savannah before she got diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer?
Speaker 2:Um, savannah and I have always been close. Um, you know, she was a really quiet little girl growing up, so she was always with mom and it continued that way all through her years. Savannah went to college and I just I cried for like weeks and weeks and weeks because, you know, we saw each other every day. We did everything together. We shopped together, movie nights together. I mean we were like best friends. I mean that's, that's how our relationship was, so we always hung out together. She went off to college. I cried and cried and cried. We still talked every day and actually I was living in Oklahoma while she was in college, in San Marcos, texas.
Speaker 2:So we were really far away from each other and that was really hard on us.
Speaker 2:So she graduated with her bachelor's in business and accounting as her minor. So she was always like self-driven. She put her mind to something and she set out to do that and she wanted to make sure she graduated in four years. She didn't want to go on longer and longer and she did that. She excelled in everything she did and I mean we relied on each other. I mean throughout everything, I mean life. If she was having a good day, I heard from her. If she was having a bad day, I heard from her. I mean it was. I mean wonderful.
Speaker 1:I mean she was I mean I miss her, I miss my best friend. You know, I had that same kind of relationship with my mom. My mom and I were incredibly close and I would call her every single day. That was one of the first things I did. I'd get in my car to go to work and I would call my mom. Anytime I was coming home from work, I called my mom. I probably talked to her at least two times a day. She used to leave messages for me all the time, and so when she died five years ago, my life changed dramatically, and so I know that bond between a mother and daughter and I'm so sorry for your loss. It is unfathomable to realize you're not going to be around them any longer, but you have also harnessed that love in a way that Savannah would be very proud of you, and I would love to know what were the circumstances around her diagnosis, what was her diagnosis and what was her treatment.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, it was at this time she was already done with college, because it was May of 2018. And she noticed a lump on her left breast, right above it. She didn't think much of it, you know, didn't mention it, and then she kind of thought, maybe I need to let mom know, you know. And again, I was living out of town. So she called me up and she's like hey, you know, I feel this lump on my left breast. And I thought, okay, well, at 24 years old, the first thing that doesn't come to my mind is breast cancer, you know. And I thought, well, you know, possibly maybe a cyst, you know, you know, let's keep an eye on it and see what happens. So, you know, let's keep an eye on it and see what happens. Well, not even a month later it grew a little bit. So she mentioned it again and I said I think you're going to need to go have that checked out, you know. And she's like well, you know what do I do? And I said go ahead and go to the doctor and go from there. And we are so glad that you know they took her serious, because, 24 years old, you're not thinking breast cancer, you're not thinking cancer at all. And so she went, the doctor looked at it and referred her over to a breast center there in Waco, texas, and you had to have a referral to get in there anyway. So it worked out. So they went in, they did the exam. They did notice some things, but you know they don't tell you right away. So it happened really quickly.
Speaker 2:By the time that she went in they scheduled her for the biopsy. When they did the biopsy, that was like a Thursday or Friday. By Monday she was told that it was breast cancer at that time, at that certain time, that it was breast cancer at that time at that certain time. And then again it moved fairly quickly and and you know, I drove back home to be with her because I mean, I didn't, I didn't know how to react when she said you know, mom, it is cancer. And I heard the fear, you know, in her voice and stuff. So I thought I got to get home. I need to get home and be with my daughter. And so her first oncologist that she went to and I always stress this, you know finding a doctor that you're comfortable with.
Speaker 2:And when Savannah, you know, being diagnosed at 24, the doctor didn't really seem to listen to Savannah, like Savannah had concerns because you know everything was being thrown at her. You know we need to decide if you're going to have a double mastectomy, you know, do you want to just remove the one left breast? We got to start you on chemo. We got to talk about radiation. You know all this is being thrown at her and at the time we had no idea, like even of staging. We didn't know what that meant. We didn't know if she had the surgery. Was that it? You know? Was she done with, you know, the breast cancer? And so you know she asked the questions and you could just tell he was always like, yeah, okay. And then she started reading up on it and she asked about you know, I understand, you know, being 24, I'd still like to have a family, but with chemo, you know, I'd like to talk about, you know, freezing my eggs, you know, just in case. And he's like, oh, you know, we'll talk about that later. We need to get started, we need to get you on chemo, we need to decide on a surgery date. Have you decided on that?
Speaker 2:And she just felt so rushed and they did the test and they said they did all the scans and they were at first telling her that she was a stage 2B is what they had told her in the beginning. She kept saying, mom, I'm not comfortable with this oncologist and I said, okay, so we decided to go look somewhere else for a second opinion. So we ended up going to a cancer hospital in Houston, texas, and it was a very large hospital there. From my understanding it was really good oncologists and stuff. So we ended up going there and they went ahead and redid all the scans and everything and we brought all the records that we had from her first oncologist.
Speaker 2:Well, we learned that and this is why it's so important, you know, to get a second opinion. Even even when we gave them all the test and everything that they run, blood work and all, we found out that the CT scans that they had done on Savannah they didn't even cover all her organs. It was just like up here. So when the hospital, am I allowed to say the hospital's name or yeah, okay, so it's easier for me. Md Anderson is where we end up going. So when they I was going to ask you I didn't know. So when she did her scans again, that's when they found out that it had already spread.
Speaker 1:So it was. So they did her whole body. Yes, after that, okay.
Speaker 2:So she was automatically stage four. De novo is what they said, and she did have the surgery and everything done here in Waco, texas. So she was already flat when she went to MD Anderson. So we should have just went with our instinct and went to MD Anderson, but we didn't because there was so much that she missed in between that. So when she got there she was stage four and we had a wonderful oncologist there who really listened to Savannah and got her into. So she got to freeze her eggs like she wanted to.
Speaker 2:In the surgery they did remove both her breasts, so she had a double mastectomy. They removed 36 lymph nodes from her left arm and then they did show about four tumors sitting on her liver and then there was a spot on her lung. But they were unsure about the spot. You know they wanted to watch that. They didn't want to go in and do a biopsy at that time. So as we went to MD Anderson she was more explained the situation and how it was going to start. So right away after freezing her eggs she went straight to the IV chemo, you know, and they hit her pretty aggressively through that. So she lost her hair like two weeks after chemo.
Speaker 1:I was one week Well, actually it was, it was two weeks, I guess. It started falling out one week after and I told my husband once it started falling out he's going to shave it. So he did, and that following week is when it started to patch out. You know, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's so hard to save it. You know, 24 years old and you know this is not what we were expecting and we still at that time had no idea what she was about to face. We didn't know what metastatic breast cancer was. So I ended up shaving her head and that was pretty emotional for her because it was again losing something that she felt was a part of her.
Speaker 2:After losing her breast she had no feeling whatsoever in her chest area. Um, she did have lymphedema on the left side so she wore sleep a lot of the times. Um, she had the body suit and I just cannot remember where you know you fit it in there and it massages it so the blood flow can move around in the arm. So she had that also that she used um treatmentment. Savannah stayed on IV chemo, which was a standard of care, for about a year and a half. So she was stable during that time and then she had progression, more progression, and that was kind of in the lymph nodes here in the chest area. So then they decided to do a clinical trial, you know to kind of save her treatments along the way. And so she did clinical trial. That didn't last, maybe not even a year.
Speaker 1:What was the clinical trial?
Speaker 2:That clinical trial was and I had to write some of these down. That one, sorry she. Like I have a, I don't even know if I should.
Speaker 1:It's a lot, oh yeah, yeah, well, okay, yeah, it's a lot of information, right? Yeah, it was a targeted one.
Speaker 2:It was targeting her mutations. She had several mutations after they did some tests. So they thought if we could try to aim for one of the mutations and see if it was the driver of the cancer, maybe they can slow it down. You know, so this was a CDK clinical trial.
Speaker 1:It was a PARP inhibitor and it was a phase one Okay, so she was on that for a year and that did not help.
Speaker 2:No, by that time they did some more scans, and that's when it went to her bones.
Speaker 1:So can you I mean you're kind of going there right now Can you explain to the audience what metastatic cancer is Like? What is that? What does that look like? What is your understanding of that?
Speaker 2:Is when it spreads to other parts of the body. You know it leaves the area of where it started. So on hers it was on the left side of her breast, so it went into her lymph nodes and then it started reaching her organs and other lymph nodes around the body. So anytime they targeted something in her body, whether it went to her liver, to her bones, to her lungs, it was still the breast cancer. So it's just that it's traveled and there is no cure. It's all prolonging their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people are in their survivorship, if you will, are living with metastatic breast cancer. We have a friend of ours here that is living with metastatic breast cancer right now. So when she, how long was it between the time that she first felt that lump and then the second time?
Speaker 2:When she felt it grow already. For the first time yeah, yeah, that was well, she was stage four the whole time.
Speaker 1:The whole time, so, but when she first felt that, yeah, yeah, it was less than a month, how frustrating.
Speaker 2:Yes, and she did. She had, you know, iv chemo. She had a liver ablation where they went in and tried to zap the tumors on her liver. Yeah, and they got three out of the four on that part. She had the radiation. She did radiation several times throughout the six years. She did extiva shots for her bone, mets Zolodex she had that. She went through physical therapy. She had an IVF filter put in because she was getting blood clots so she had to do that, you know, per day. She was taking like seven to 12 pills a day for side effects and pain and that was pretty much her her six years. I mean she went from this really healthy outgoing person to one that was pretty much in bed and in and out of the hospital, you know, constantly. We probably lived in Houston during the six years more than we did in our own hometown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely not something that you're expecting such a young woman to experience. I'm just, you know, imagining the fact that. How would she have ever have known anyway, without feeling that lump, that something was wrong, because you know we don't get mammograms at that age, right, do you? Do you have anything in your family? Did you uncover anything about genetics?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they did some tests and you know there was nothing. We have no clue how Savannah got the breast cancer we couldn't find it.
Speaker 1:Well, it's frustrating because you'll never know I mean, I'll never know how I got it. I have no idea, and I didn't have it in my family either, and most people don't have it in their family that get breast cancer anyway, which was a total mind blow to me, because most people think, oh, you know, if you have a predisposition of any kind, that that is when you get breast cancer and that's just. You know simply not the truth, and so, um, so it's gotta be very frustrating. Number one not even knowing how the heck that happened and knowing that she was so young and she didn't get to live. You know her life. Um, you were an amazing caregiver to her. What was that like for you?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. You know it was both such an honor but at the same time it's the hardest thing I ever had to do. You know you got to stay strong because you know she got to a point where she was just trying to live. She didn't want to hear any more about her scans because scans were like every three months throughout. You know, because, being stage four, they want to keep up with the treatments and stuff. So you know she got to a point where it was just too much to even listen to the results of these scans. You know how they say scansiety. It's definitely real, they are real. They are real even for the caregiver.
Speaker 2:But I would not change anything. Like I was honored to be there by Savannah and you know she asked us even from the beginning. She always said you know I need for y'all to never give up, no matter how hard it is. And you know she asked us even from the beginning. She always said you know I need for y'all to never give up, no matter how hard it is. And she says you know, when it comes time that I decide to stop treatments, you know. Then you know that's when it's okay to say you know that it's done. So we always try to stay positive with excuse me with Savannah and encourage her.
Speaker 2:So as a caregiver, and how I knew my daughter, you know, when we went to Houston it wasn't just about the treatments. We always tried to go and eat at a favorite restaurant, you know, go take a little walk in the mall there, because the malls there are, you know, they're gigantic in the city. We always try to do something beyond just making it about cancer and that was kind of the rewarding part of it. But then you had the side where I watched my daughter live in a lot of fear, you know, because she never knew when her time would be up and she always knew that it would be shorter than what she wanted. And Savannah was, I mean, amazing through it all. I mean she smiled, through it, she was courageous, brave, asked the questions when it needed to be asked, advocated for herself. So by watching this it gave me the strength to continue to be the caregiver that I needed, to be there for Savannah. But watching her as the years went by and for her to decline like she did, that was hard.
Speaker 2:Those were the times where I would sneak off, you know, into the kitchen and let the tears fall. As the years went by, the cancer had spread, you know, started in her breast, the lymph nodes, to her liver. It did go into her lungs. She had pleural fusion around both lungs so and then she had a partial collapsed lung and it was all in the bones and her lymphatic system. It went back to the liver and to the liver duct. Am I saying that right? So I mean, she was like a walking miracle by the end, you know.
Speaker 2:And so it was hard and I did the draining, you know, on her lungs, and that was probably one of the toughest things to see, you know, on her lungs, and that was probably one of the toughest things to see, you know, having this liquid come out of her body, knowing that it was carrying all those cancer cells in it, you know. And so towards the end, in and out of the hospital, there was a time also that she was in the ICU. Her heart was collapsing and that's when we learned the fluid even went around her heart and it was tough. It was tough as a mom. I felt so helpless, you know, because as a mom you take care of the kids, give them medicine, you know, try to help them in those ways, and this time I just knew there was like absolutely nothing that I could do for Savannah at all. So it also brought us closer, though, and those are the beautiful moments during this, because I got to see a whole different side to my daughter, who taught me a lot about life and appreciating stuff.
Speaker 2:But you know, when I think, think back now, I feel like I'm being ripped open again, you know, because it's trauma, it's a lot of trauma, not just for her but for that person watching because, like I said, you can't do anything for them and and you just hope and pray that you know that miracle pill will be there for her or you know some, some kind of good news.
Speaker 1:So, um, savannah, you know you talked about how she was a walking miracle. Um, she also found time to give back to the breast cancer community, right? So what did that look like?
Speaker 2:Savannah got to participate in the New York Fashion Week. She got to walk as a metastatic breast cancer and this was done through Metavivor and Anna Ono. So she got to volunteer in that, which really opened up a lot for her. Because after doing that she realized how important it was for people to understand what metastatic breast cancer was and how little it was talked about at the time. Because even with her going through different things, like even going to physical therapy, people didn't know what metastatic breast cancer was. So she decided at that time that she wanted to do more. So she met a lot of people in the cancer community which you know. You have again your wonderful side because you meet so many people. You click with these people but then you watch them pass away also. So that was reality for Savannah's life. But she did. She advocated on her social media. She decided that she wanted to make some earrings during that time because she couldn't work. It was too hard on her body to stay at a job. So she decided to make some earrings because when she lost her hair she always wore caps. She wasn't never comfortable to go bald in public and putting those earrings on just made her feel beautiful. So in her heart she decided you know, I'm going to go ahead and create some earrings. So she did. She designed them, she created them, she put them together, she put them on social media. The word got out and then, by giving back, she sent free earrings to any woman that was going through treatments and she put a little note in there that hopefully they have a good day.
Speaker 2:I have her story in a mission. Is that OK if I read that? Her story and a mission Is that okay if I read that? Yes, absolutely so. Her story was, and her business was called.
Speaker 2:A Beautiful Purpose is what she called it, and her story was when I lost my hair during chemo, my favorite accessory to wear with my head wraps were earrings. I wasn't confident enough to show my bald head, but when I wore earrings I felt beautiful. This is what inspired me to create a beautiful purpose, and our mission was to make every woman feel beautiful when they look in the mirror, even on her hardest day. And then, along with the sales, a portion of the earrings I create will be gifted to women undergoing cancer treatments. And she did. She donated earrings to chemo kits. She'd take them to the hospital with her and she'd also give them to her nurses and doctors and they all loved it. And then if she saw some patients there she would just give them some earrings and she just had a big heart. So it made her feel like turning the cancer into something beautiful. You know, not stuck in all the negativity that was about See a beautiful purpose.
Speaker 1:I've always really liked earrings too, so like I always, you know. So I wear a lot of head wraps and beanies and things like that, and I would always put my big sunglasses on with my glass, with my earrings, and that always made me feel a lot better.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, that's what she did. And then she also talked in a lot of panels. She was telling her story on different non-profit organizations. She volunteered organizations, she volunteered. So she talked about from lymphedema to not being able to have children, to metastatic breast cancer as a young adult and everything in between that. You know she was always welcome for people to ask her questions, she said it always made her feel, uh, as scared. You know, it brought her some healing through her journey. Sure, she inspired a lot of people I mean not just people that had cancer, I mean, it was beyond that when they saw her doing more for herself. And she also learned to travel. That was another thing that gave her therapy. So she learned, she loved that also.
Speaker 1:So she inspired a lot of people, and one of those people were you, and she had one last wish. What was that wish for her, nancy, sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm Savannah wanted her story to continue to be told. She said she wanted to continue to inspire people and you know, for me this is the hardest thing. This is one of the hardest things for me is is to say that you know, my daughter's physically not here anymore, but, um, she wanted her story to be told and she always said you know, if I could help at least one person out there, you know. So with that inspiration, I'm here and I'm telling her story to let people know it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 2:Life throws some things at us that are hard, but there's always beauty. There's beauty in everything and Savannah found that. She found beauty everywhere she looked and she gave that to me. So I am going to continue telling Savannah's story, like she wanted me to, and I'm hoping that I can capture who Savannah was and that it will help people out there, whether it's going through the cancer treatment or the grief that comes with it, because she grieved a life, you know, a different life and I can really relate to her grief. Now, you know, I go back and read some of her posts and I thought that's exactly how I feel, you know.
Speaker 1:So Well, and plus, you know, a daughter is not supposed to die before her mom, and so that's that's a totally different and legitimate type of grief for you, and you did. And luckily she's touched more than one life. Obviously she's touched a lot of lives, and even going back to that lesson about second opinions, this is something that I think a lot of people struggle with because we want to trust our medical providers, which obviously we should because they are the professionals. However, if something doesn't feel right like she knew that, that, that that particular oncologist did not have the bedside manner that she needed, and she that gave her strength enough to say mom, I don't like and like.
Speaker 1:How many people actually say something like that? You know, not a lot of people do. And so, luckily, she had the wherewithal to be able to say mom, this is not, this is not the person that I need to be with. So that's a huge lesson in itself. Right, it is. So her last wish was to make sure that you told her story. What would you like to tell the world about your experience with Savannah, and what should people know about this disease? What is the overarching mission and message you think that you could share?
Speaker 2:Well, my daughter, as young as she was. We think that we know what life is about, or what's important in life, and through this journey I learned that it's so important to love, and to love with your whole heart, because you don't know how long you have and you know, all I'm left with, which I'm so grateful for, are pictures and videos, which she did a lot of because she knew her time was short, and she'd always say, mom, I'm leaving all this for you, you know, to help you. She has no idea how much more I want. I want more time with my daughter, but looking at her and her bravery and how she saw life is helping me through my grief. It's, it's, it's taken me through each day, because there are days I can't get out of bed and I think to myself how was Savannah? You know she, she was in pain, she couldn't walk, but yet she got up and she still kept that smile on her face. You know, the lessons that I learned is you know, pay attention to your body.
Speaker 2:Like her, being so young, she always knew when something wasn't right, and she did that throughout her journey and she spoke about it and said you know, I feel like something's changed in my body so we'd go back to the doctor. So I think it's so important to do that. You know they say early detection. You know with Savannah there were no other signs, so you know that that was kind of hard it. You know it was already in the late stage. We're so thankful that we had the six years with Savannah.
Speaker 2:But I would say you know, if you are going through the cancer treatment, it's okay to ask questions. We asked a lot of questions and there is not a dumb question. You know, if you're not comfortable with your oncologist it's okay to go to another one. Several, when she did Savannah did have the opportunity to do reconstruction and she visited with different you know doctors for that until she was comfortable. And, um, I learned also that as a caregiver, um, it's okay even for us to ask those questions and and and. If that person can't answer, then you go to someone else that can answer. I think that's so important. But spending time together with your family, your loved ones. Life is short. I know that now 30 years have gone by, way too fast for me. Savannah, she was brave through the whole journey. I don't think she realizes how many people she inspired through it all, because there's so many that still contact me and you know if they're having a bad day they remember some words from Savannah and stuff. But yeah, it's.
Speaker 1:Well, she's still with this podcast. We are putting her story out there to even more people. I don't think you and I talked about this. Is her father still in the picture?
Speaker 2:She has a wonderful stepdad who we say is her father. He came into the picture. She was already in high school and the bond that they have was, I mean, they were as close as her and I. He stood by her. She confided in him in many things. She looked for his support also and he was there throughout all of it.
Speaker 2:And that's another thing that we learned. You know, we thought we were a close family before the cancer diagnosis, but when Savannah got diagnosed, our family changed and she also has an older sister. So everything changed. We had Sunday dinners, we traveled together, we just went and sat in each other's homes, just watching whatever on TV, just so that we can be with each other. We learned how important this time was. We learned how important it was to say I love you.
Speaker 2:I told Savannah throughout her entire life, but more towards the end, how much I loved her and I can tell you today that still wasn't enough, you know. But her father, he is my support now going through this grief. Good, but he was also our support. He's the one that was our rock through it all, because you know, like I said, I try to stay really strong in front of Savannah to give her more strength. But he was really our rock because, you know, she knew I was going to struggle and I was struggling. So she looked to him like, hey, you know, take care of mom. You know, make sure that mom's going to be OK.
Speaker 2:So yeah, and Savannah did get married during this time and her husband was also very supportive. You know, she wanted the title of a wife and a mom, but she did get the title of being a wife. She got to stay married to her high school sweetheart and they were married for two years before she passed. And, uh, he was also in the picture and he was a wonderful guy. I mean, he took care of my daughter. He was there by her side through it all.
Speaker 1:So how's he doing now?
Speaker 2:He's struggling with this part, like we all are. He's really trying to find himself also. They were together over 10 years, you know. So they kind of grew up together and they were together while she was away at college and then with her diagnosis. So, you know, their relationship was really unique because they had to make a lot of critical decisions during this time, you know, and they had to face a lot of results, like you know.
Speaker 2:And they had to face a lot of results, like you know, not being able to have children, you know, even though she froze the eggs it was someone else had to carry, you know, for her. But in Savannah's heart it was also the question is it fair to bring a child into this life? That's going to, you know, not have a mother to see this child grow up. So she didn't want to be selfish in those ways. So her decision at the end was you know, I'm just not going to have children. And that crushed her more than anything because she wanted that life. But they did have a beautiful wedding during the time and a beautiful life together.
Speaker 1:So Well, my heart goes out to him and, and your husband as well, and you and all of her friends, and I just really appreciate your sharing this story of Savannah and I feel that she's with you and I, um, I think that she would be very proud of you, for, you know, take uh, you know putting your energy into doing what she asked you to do because that it was that important to her, and you know having conversations with people like me and, um, what kind of advice would you give to people, or maybe even just to other caregivers as we leave this conversation? What would you say?
Speaker 2:I'd say it's okay to give yourself some time. I had a really hard time with that part. I wanted to constantly be there with Savannah and she'd'd always say mom, you know, if you need to go, take a day, you know, go. And you know, go walk the stores or something. And but in my heart I couldn't. But there were times where I think it would have done better for myself. Um, and come back and, like I said, because I didn't want to be there emotional in front of her. So I say, take some time for yourself. It's okay to ask for help. I say it's taking it a little bit harder today, you know, and it's okay to do that. And again, it's okay to ask the questions when you're at the doctor's office. It's also important because we have a different view of it when we're on the outside than, you know, the one that's going through it. So I say that's very important to do also. So I know you asked me something else besides that.
Speaker 1:Oh, that was like no, just the advice that you would give and that that's such great advice. And I mean, I know that's really hard for people to walk away, and my husband had to get you know. I told him, you know he to go and do stuff, you know. So he was, he. He found a balance. You know where he could go, especially when I was sleeping and not feeling. Well, you know, from the, from the chemo, um, so he would go out, ride his bike or go golfing or whatever, and then come back.
Speaker 1:And so it is really important, because if you're not feeling, if you're not physically and mentally strong, then it's really hard to take care of someone. So self-care for the caregiver too. So well, nancy, I just again really appreciate your taking the time to tell your story, because this is your story too as a caregiver, as a grieving mom, and you know telling Savannah's story. I'm so glad that you're still, you're putting it out there and I hope you get on all kinds of other podcasts and you know wherever you can spread that, that knowledge and that love for Savannah. Is there anything you'd like to leave us with before we wrap up?
Speaker 2:to leave us with before we wrap up. I'd just like to thank you for this opportunity. Let me be Savannah's voice. I appreciate you taking the time, even when you don't feel so well.
Speaker 1:I know. Usually, I mean, I'm usually feeling pretty good, but obviously my audience probably can hear my stuffed upness and I don't even know what it is. I haven't gone to urgent care but I've been laying low and taking care of myself so well. Again, I really appreciate it. Nancy, I'm sending you and your family all the love and to my audience. I really appreciate your joining us again and if you can head over to your favorite platform and rate and review this podcast, it really does help. You know. You know, get that, get, get the podcast out there to more people and we will see you next time on the next episode of Test those Breasts.
Speaker 1:Friends, thank you so much for listening to this episode of test those breasts. I hope you got some great much needed information that will help you with your journey. As always, I am open to guests to add value to my show and I'm also open to being a guest on other podcasts where I can add value. So please reach out if you'd like to collaborate. My contact information is in the show notes and, as a reminder, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast will truly help build a bigger audience all over the world. I thank you for your efforts. I look forward to sharing my next episode of Test those Breasts. Thank you.
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