.jpg)
Test Those Breasts ™️
This podcast by Jamie Vaughn is a deep-dive discussion on a myriad of breast cancer topics, such as early detection, the initial shock of diagnosis, testing/scans, treatment, loss of hair, caregiving, surgery, emotional support, and advocacy.
These episodes will include breast cancer survivors, thrivers, caregivers, surgeons, oncologists, therapists, and other specialists who can speak to many different topics.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified health care providers, therefore does not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers.
Test Those Breasts ™️
Ep 82: Channeling Pain & Trauma Thru Acts of Self-Love & Building Brighter Connections w/ Gillian Lichota
When faced with the daunting challenge of a breast cancer diagnosis, who do you turn to for support? This episode features the remarkable journey of Gillian Lichota, the resilient founder and CEO of the iRise Above Foundation. As she recounts her personal battle with breast cancer that began during pregnancy and later recurred, Gillian shines a light on the profound impact of meaningful friendships and community support. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of nurturing connections, where self-love and compassion play pivotal roles in turning adversity into a life filled with purpose and joy.
Have you ever found solace in a pen and paper when life feels overwhelming? We explore the healing potential of writing and self-forgiveness, diving into the quiet moments that allow us to process emotions and find clarity. Gillian and I share personal reflections on how writing has become a tool for overcoming internal struggles, breaking negative cycles, and fostering personal growth. Through vivid stories and insightful discussions, we uncover the deep connections between childhood experiences, self-worth, and behavior, all while emphasizing the continuous journey of self-improvement, especially as parents.
Do stories have the power to uplift and empower? As we wrap up, we celebrate the inspiring work of the iRise Above Foundation, which offers unwavering support to young women facing breast cancer. From wellness programs to adventure trips and the empowering "Rising Above" anthology, Gillian’s organization fosters a community where shared stories inspire strength and resilience. This conversation is not just about surviving, but truly thriving, breaking free from fear, and emwdex2q1bracing life to the fullest. Join us for a heartfelt episode filled with stories of courage, transformation, and the incredible power of connection.
glichota@iriseabovefoundation.org
iRise Above Foundation on Instagram
iRise Above Foundation on Facebook
iRise Above Foundation on YouTube
Are you loving the Test Those Breasts! Podcast? You can show your support by donating to the Test Those Breasts Nonprofit @ https://testthosebreasts.org/donate/
Where to find Jamie:
Instagram LinkedIn TikTok Test Those Breasts Facebook Group LinkTree
Jamie Vaughn in the News!
Thanks for listening!
I would appreciate your rating and review where you listen to podcasts!
I am not a doctor and not all information in this podcast comes from qualified healthcare providers, therefore may not constitute medical advice. For personalized medical advice, you should reach out to one of the qualified healthcare providers interviewed on this podcast and/or seek medical advice from your own providers .
Hello friends, welcome back to the Test those Breasts podcast.
Speaker 1:I am your host, jamie Vaughn. I'm a retired teacher of 20 years and a breast cancer thriver turned staunch, unapologetic, loud supporter and advocate for others, bringing education and awareness through a myriad of medical experts, therapists, caregivers and other survivors. A breast cancer diagnosis is incredibly overwhelming, with the mounds of information out there, and other survivors A breast cancer diagnosis is incredibly overwhelming, with the mounds of information out there, especially on Dr Google. I get it. I'm not a doctor and I know how important it is to uncover accurate information, which is my ongoing mission through my nonprofit. The podcast includes personal stories and opinions from breast cancer survivors and professional physicians, providing the most up-to-date information. At the time of recording Evidence, research and practices are always changing, so please check the date of the recording and always refer to your medical professionals for the most up-to-date information. I hope you find this podcast a source of inspiration and support from my guests. Their contact information is in the show notes, so please feel free to reach out to them. We have an enormous breast cancer community ready to support you in so many ways. Now let's listen to the next episode of Test those Breasts.
Speaker 1:Hello friends, welcome back to this episode of Test those Breasts. I am your host, jamie Vaughn, and today I am so excited about having my friend, jillian Lachota back on my show. Some of you may remember I interviewed her last well, at the beginning of the fall, and we have just cultivated such a nice friendship. I'm in Reno, nevada, she's in Washington DC and we just, you know, we, we just have a lot in common and it certainly has helped me a lot. But, jillian, just just to give you a reminder, she is the founder and CEO of the I Rise Above Foundation, which is a nonprofit US-based organization dedicated to empowering, inspiring and supporting young women to cultivate an outstanding quality of life during and after breast cancer. She's also a mother, marine biologist, mountain climber, adventure travel enthusiast and a breast cancer thriver. Well, hello, jillian. Thank you so much for being on the show again. We have so much to talk about today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2:Good.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me back, Jamie. Well, we've had some technical difficulties. We've been trying to do this podcast episode. We tried yesterday and it was super windy on your end and we were just having a bad connection. So here we are trying it again and I just appreciate your flexibility and all the things because I know how busy you are. Anyway, it's so good to see you. Can you remind our audience what your breast cancer diagnosis was and your treatments and kind of give us a little bit of a background on that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, I was originally diagnosed with stage three advanced pregnancy related breast cancer in 2012. So that would be ER PR positive, her2 negative. On the same day that I found out I was pregnant, so it was a really bittersweet day. I spent my pregnancy going through treatments. 11 days after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had a mastectomy and then started treatment. After 20 weeks gestation, I had a healthy baby boy. I went through more treatments and surgeries and then was in remission For five years. I had another child, a girl, and I found out that I had metastatic breast cancer. It had returned in an area of my lung. So I was fortunate that I listened to my body and I had a very responsive oncologist who heard my concern and we were able to catch it quite early. So that was eight years ago and I'm now six and a half years of living with no evidence of disease in my body and I'm grateful for every day that I have. Someday that might change, but today I'm doing well Good.
Speaker 1:I'm so glad to hear that because I do see your posts on social media and all the fun that you have with your family and you really are living your life. I feel like that is probably the most important thing to do, especially when you're in a situation where you've had a relapse and you just never know if it's going to happen again. And I think about that every single day, even though you know I also breast cancer evidence no evidence of disease so far. I have my first mammogram this week actually, and I was told that I could do it. I had the deep flap surgery and at first you couldn't do something like that out of fear for of ruining the flap or whatever. But I have been told that it is okay for me to do that now. So I'm a little nervous about going in Because I always think that I feel something is like what if?
Speaker 1:What if? And I hear stories like yours quite often where it has come back, and so I, you know, you just never know. So I just you know, and you and I have cultivated this friendship which I don't know if I've told you before, but you have, in such a short period of time, helped me mentally, emotionally, on so many different levels through things that you know just lots of different things, and I just really appreciate that. And today's topic really is about connecting and what we can do to sort of, I guess, rechannel pain and trauma into things that will help us live our lives. And one of the things is friendship. And even though you and I have never met in person other than looking at each other on a camera, we will someday, I know I will get over there to visit you and maybe you guys could get over here to visit us and maybe do some snowshoeing, snowshoeing or skiing or whatever. Can you share, like how your experience with breast cancer has shaped your friendships and connections with others, because you do, you're so good at it.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:I think for me, really, what breast cancer did is it was sort of the catalyst for me developing a friendship with myself.
Speaker 2:First I really leaned into what it meant to have self-love and self-compassion and forgive myself for things in my past, and in doing so, I believe I started to lead with much more intention and tenderness in my relationships and I started to realize that a lot of the friendships that perhaps I thought were meaningful weren't really based on the kinds of things that were good for me.
Speaker 2:They might've been a bit toxic or not true friendships. And so once I started to realize that and really tune into what my boundaries are as a person self-respect and asking myself why I do the things I do and so forth the connections that I started to make with other people were much deeper and much more meaningful and fulfilling. Many of the friendships that I've developed through my connections with the I Rise Above Foundation and just the greater breast cancer community at large really started to become like deeper friendships and there was just this common understanding of the trauma associated with a breast cancer diagnosis and everybody's, you know, experience is different, but underneath it all there is this thread that weaves us together, this understanding of fear and you know how it's changed us, how it's made us more like brought more clarity to our lives of what is really important, and so I have developed these friendships, like the one we have, which are way more meaningful to me and supportive of the kind of life that I really want to live.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me. I've had a lot of friends throughout my years of living and my definition of friendship has changed so much over time, especially since my mom died five years ago. You just, you just seem to gravitate towards people who have felt that pain and I can't tell you how many people that I have still never met in person who've actually reached out to me privately to tell me how much you know, they are thinking about me and they remember things that I've posted on Facebook about you know, like owls, because that's I saw a huge owl the night after my mom died and everyone's you know that I have made that connection with still to this day remembers that. And they still reach out to me with pictures of owls or they get me owls or whatever it is. I've never even met these people in person necessarily Many I have, but same thing with breast cancer is that you know we have this collective understanding of what that trauma is like and what that pain is like, and which is something that a lot of people cannot understand, like people that you may have gone to high school with or whatever.
Speaker 1:So I just really have my definition. My understanding of friendship is much deeper now and sometimes that kind of shrinks your circle a little bit, which is totally fine, because those more meaningful friendships are so much better in my mind. So because we used to I don't know about you, but I used to value my life on how many friends I had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure, we all been there, you know, and for me, I don't know about you, jamie, but having breast cancer, I just show up differently in my relationships I, and that has affected how I spend my time. I want to spend more quality time with people that I really care about, instead of just so many small friendships where it's not really a deep connection. Just, I think, because life is precious and the people that I love I just I want to be there 100%. I want to show up with intention and, like I said, tenderness and just be there for them and for myself.
Speaker 1:And yeah, so I love that, I love the fact that you have cultivated a relationship with yourself. You know not not everybody you know, like if you ask, hey, how well do you know yourself? People are like, well, of course I know myself, you know I myself. But when you really sit down and think about it and we're going to talk about one of the things that you do to get to know yourself better and even you know and be able to move through pain and trauma in just a second, but how can you think of a way that people, people that might not be in our position right now, maybe they are a ways away from understanding who they are or what friendship is? What kind of advice do you have for people to be able to connect like you have and I have, with themselves and then with other real friends, I guess?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a really good question. I think it starts with being able to really ask yourself who you are. Deep questions about how did I get here is a simple one, and I find that I use a tool which is writing to work through some of that stuff. And because sometimes you know, your mind is full of chatter and when you put pen to paper I find that it comes out like you're able to pull things out and then you can go back and you can read it, see what it meant and explore it a little bit more. I think that's a really important way of doing it.
Speaker 2:I think it's important to find quiet, because the lives that we live are so full of chatter and noise and you're receiving messages from all over the place. If you can find time to just take a mindful pause every day, it doesn't have to be anything fancy Just close your eyes and breathe deeply and just lean into what you're feeling in that moment has really helped me to regulate myself. And when I'm feeling something really strongly, I take note of it and you know, often without judgment, just feel it and go back and kind of think about it. Afterwards Maybe put your pen to your paper and write about it and often I find lots comes out and I know it's a tool that a lot of people use outside of, you know, the breast cancer community and so I, you know I support that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do too. One of the reasons I started this podcast in the first place was to be able to try to heal from the trauma, and I will say that it has worked well for me. Just because I get to talk to people I'm a talker, I am a conversationalist, I'm a listener, and so to be able to talk to people like you and other survivors, other thrivers, you know, medical professionals it has helped me move through. So that's kind of like my mode, and some people might, you know, be open to doing something like that or writing. So there's like different ways that you can, you know, move through that and channel that pain and that trauma in certain ways. So I think that that's such a great way to do it, though, is writing. I mean, after all, when we were kids I don't know about you I had a diary. Did I keep up with it all the time? No, but I still have that diary and I look back and I read what I was thinking like in eighth grade and ninth grade and things like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually kept diaries as well and I still have them and I've gone back to read through them. Actually, this year I spent some time just kind of diving into what I was actually thinking and it was just really interesting. You know, I have kids who are entering their tweens and so you know to go back and think about what you know, maybe what they're understanding what I was thinking about helps me to understand what they might be thinking about my kids.
Speaker 1:Right, right, and then I had stepkids, so I went through all of their teen lives together. So it's fun to, you know, have conversations with them now because you know they're our oldest is 32 years old. So it's just interesting because that's pretty much when I met their dad, when I was like 32. So now I'm 57. And so, just thinking back, you mentioned something about going back and making a connection with yourself and forgiving yourself for certain things. Recently, I've been thinking about some things in my past not, you know, from when I was a kid or, you know, like before I met my husband things that I have really had to forgive myself for, because there are certain things that I felt that I needed to, because we can't do anything about the past, right. So, but being able to, you know, acknowledge it and move forward, how have you been able to actually forgive yourself for whatever you think you need to be forgiven for? Yeah, like, how do you?
Speaker 2:do that. Yeah, lots of thoughts were going through my mind as you were asking this question, I think, first and foremost, you know I've done, I've gone through an inventory of my life and just how I got to where I am and sort of a better understanding of my childhood and sort of the dynamics of that. I realized that, you know, in my own experience I had a pretty hard upbringing with my family and in my development as a child I started to experience a response of wanting to people, please and overachieve, and I would get really hard on myself if I didn't get like the number one or whatever it was I was going after, because I thought that my self-worth was based on affirmation of others or achieving a goal instead of just being who I am, just as I am. And once I started to realize that and that some of the ways that I was responding to certain situations or people I was able to say, I understand that now I'm going to course correct. And so you're right, you can't change the hit, you can't change history. But in response to you know, my being a mother, I have changed the cycle of some. You know behaviors that I experienced, you know from my mother and my father. And so when I'm not, when I'm not repeating those old patterns and I'm creating a new pattern, I can say you know the things that I did in my past that I didn't have self-awareness for, but I do. Now I can forgive myself for those, you know.
Speaker 2:It's a different thing, I believe, when you are aware that you know you might have this behavioral trait or this tendency to respond in a particular way, and then you keep doing it anyway, even though you know that it's maybe not right way, and then you keep doing it anyway, even though you know that it's maybe not right. So for myself, that's kind of how I've been able to do it and forgiving myself, because we all make mistakes and we make mistakes, but the beauty is we learn from them. And right, there is how you grow and you become a better person, and that translates into how you show up every day. And so every day I want to learn something about myself. I make mistakes. Parenthood, for example, is one of the hardest jobs on the planet. There's no do-overs. You do make mistakes, but you can course correct.
Speaker 2:And so I'm just using that as one example.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like you know I read something. I actually posted it on Facebook. I want to. I just did this yesterday. I feel like you know I read something. I actually posted it on Facebook. I want to. I just did this yesterday, I think.
Speaker 1:So I have always considered myself the black sheep of my family. So my brothers may not think this, but maybe they do. I don't know, I'm pretty sure they do. But I'm also the middle child and I'm the only girl, and so they may see me as maybe have been spoiled or whatever it is. But I posted something about black sheep and it says a family's black sheep are actually liberators. So I kind of picture you personally as a liberator.
Speaker 1:You've broken the chain of some things that have happened in your family lineage, right? So liberators of the family tree, family members who don't adapt to family rules or traditions, those who constantly try to revolutionize beliefs, those who choose roads contrary to the well-beaten paths of family lines, those who are criticized, judged and even rejected these are called to free the family from repetitive patterns that frustrate entire generations. These so-called black sheep, the ones that don't fit in, the ones that howl with rebellion, actually repair, detox and create new thriving branches in the family tree. So I feel like you're that person. You know you, so I just so my audience knows you have asked me because of our friendship that we've cultivated.
Speaker 1:You've asked me to be on the review team of a book that is going to be publishing and you wrote a chapter in there and I've learned and I've almost finished with it but what I have learned is that your life has been filled with trauma and so you're kind of that person and I and I don't know. I know that sometimes the word black sheep is sort of a negative connotation, but I kind of see it as a positive connotation. What do you?
Speaker 2:think, yeah, no, I a hundred percent agree. I once had a boss do my review and he called me a rebel rouser and I said, thank you, I like that and yeah, I, you know, I think it's. I think it's important to ask informative questions. And you know, why are you doing the things you do? Are you being blindly led somewhere? Why are we doing this? It's I think that breast cancer just really opened that up for me, like in a way that it was definitely a catalyst for my transformation, for sure. And you know, I do think that family is a hard thing in general, because everybody has different ideas and it can be really wonderful, but it can also be really hard, and so I think it's important just to stay true to who you are and not be hard on yourself about positions that you take. And I really like just listening to what other people have to say. You know, I want to be able to say tell me more about whatever position you have and we can agree to disagree, so that helps.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that helps me a lot, because I have always beaten myself up Like I'm a. I am the master, master beater upper of myself. I have, you know, I look back and I think about things that have gone wrong or I've done wrong, or I just shouldn't have done or said, or whatever it is. And there are times when things happen to me that I think to myself oh my God, this is karma happening to me, Like I, if I hadn't have done this, maybe this wouldn't have happened. And it is a vicious, vicious cycle and I am trying really hard to not do that.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to and I I have actually I've talked to quite a few other people who have thought the same thing, Like they brought this on themselves somehow, and because we are in a society full of, we look at people who do bad things and we always say things like karma is going to get you. I mean, some people don't know the true meaning of karma, but but that's what we feel like if something, if something bad happens, something we obviously did something bad in our past that's coming back to bite us in our butt, Right? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean possibly, but again, I think well, first, the first thing I think, jamie, is that the most important conversation you'll ever have is the one you're going to have with yourself. Right, because you show others how to love you If and if you're not loving yourself, then others aren't going to love you. Right? You have to be, you have to be the example for other people. You have to show them how you have self-respect and how you value yourself and your self-worth. You can't expect other people to do that if you're not doing that for yourself. I do believe that we don't really know what.
Speaker 2:I'm going to use breast cancer as an example. It was particularly, you know, particularly with metastatic. When it came back, I asked these questions. Obviously I'm like why me? Why did this happen to me and what did I do?
Speaker 2:And I, you know, I got hard on myself because my breast cancer is estrogen and progesterone driven and I elected to have embryos from IVF just transferred, without drugs, just to have another child, because I really wanted to have a sibling for my son. And I got hard on myself, thinking I brought this back into my life and it took me a while to just be like no, no, no, no, not at all, because in walking in that darkness I found my lights and I started the I Rise Above Foundation. The life that I have now is just one filled with joy and also filled with grief, right, I mean, I think that's part of the concept of wholeness is that you can have both and there is meaning. There can be meaning even in the darkest of places, and it's up to us to find what that is. And once you are able to look within and find that light and then shine it out for the world to see and light a path for other people, it's so incredibly rewarding. I mean, I sometimes am really shocked and taken back by these beautiful letters I receive from people within the breast cancer community who are within our I Rise Above community.
Speaker 2:For example, we just had a retreat in Costa Rica back in April and we had a videographer with us and they had a storyline they wanted to film and we had a sacred women's circle and everybody was wanting to write a love letter to I Rise Above and this was really off the cuff and the videographer was like no, let's, let's shift our focus and like this is amazing, because they each wrote what it meant to them and and it was translating like this thing that I created, how it's absolutely trans like changed their lives and in those moments I was so humbled by it and you don't realize the impact that you can have on somebody else's life. It can just be as simple as asking someone how their day is. How are you doing? We don't take enough time, I don't think, to do that or just to say something nice to somebody. You look really radiant today and I think the world, especially now, can use more of that.
Speaker 1:I think so too. I tend to do that a lot, you know. Even if it's like standing in a you know elevator and somebody's wearing a really beautiful sweater, like you are today, you know, I I'm I'm always like, oh, I really love your sweater, or I love your shoes, or whatever it is, and it's amazing the look on their face when they hear that, because, you know, it just comes out of left field sometimes for people, you know and I do want to talk about IRISE and I am going to actually put that video in the show notes because I think it's really important for people to see it was very touching to me and I wasn't even there there, but I knew you and I knew Amy who was there, and it just which also has inspired me to want to go on your next adventure to Peru in the spring, and so I'm excited about that and we're going to talk about those different opportunities. You know I had this other. I sent this to you, I texted this to you and I know that you had just mentioned something about this because I want to get into your book your chapter in your book and your poem.
Speaker 1:Of course it says you got to resurrect the deep pain within you and give it a place to live. That's not within your body. Let it live in art, let it live in writing, let it live in music, let it be devoured by building brighter connections. Your body is not a coffin for pain to be buried in. Put it somewhere else. And you, I put mine in my podcast and I love that. You said that you get letters. I get messages from people from other countries and you know saying hey, you know I ran across your podcast and I listened to this episode and it inspired me to. You know saying hey, you know I ran across your podcast and I listened to this episode and it inspired me to. You know know more about where I should go get my breast surgery, or my daughter should get her breast surgery, or whatever it is. Can you share with us the writing piece that you've invited me to be on the review team with?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, earlier this year I was invited by Jessica Buchanan, who's a bestselling author. She was abducted, kidnapped, doing humanitarian work in Somalia in 2011 and held ransom for $150 million and sorry, 2011. And the Obama administration after 93 days she was on the edge of death sent the SEAL team in to rescue her and her colleague, and she wrote a book about it afterwards. And the experience much like you know, much like breast cancer can be very transformative in how you approach the world, how you perceive things, how you show up. She came out of that like a changed person and wanted to change the world in her own way, and so she wrote a first book called Desert to Mountaintops. It's an anthology. The first volume is escaping me, the subtitle, the theme of it, but now you know. The third one is the Pilgrimage of Motherhood and it's a memoir, and the chapters within the book are different women's experiences. They all have different walks of life, but they're desert to mountaintop experience, you know, going from low to high. They're all women that have experienced something, they've learned something, and now they want to tell you something and heal themselves and others through their experiences. And so Jessica Buchanan reached out to me because she heard about my you know my trauma associated with breast cancer and new pregnancy and going through all of that and then pregnant and then returning as metastatic, and she invited me to write about my pilgrimage of motherhood amidst terminal breast cancer.
Speaker 2:I wasn't really sure it was what I wanted to do. I was kind of like I don't know. I was really. You know we have, we as humans tend to avoid things because we're afraid, and I was afraid, of kind of peeling back some of the layers there, and so eventually I agreed to do it and it turned into much more than I ever imagined in terms of revelation and being a very. It was a very cathartic experience to go through and write a slice of a slice of my life in the context of motherhood, and what I was able to do was make the connection of some traumas that occurred in my childhood, not only the way I grew up with my parents or lack thereof, parenting. I was very abused as a child and then it continued into my teenage years and then I had some other trauma sexual traumas that occurred, and I didn't realize how deep my pain was in association with motherhood and how that carried within my body, and I'm sure some of you have read the Body Keeps the Score.
Speaker 2:It's a book, it's an excellent book and you know your body will follow where your mind takes you. Basically is the essence of it. Basically is the essence of it. And I know that I had such deep, repressed emotions within my body that I have a belief that the way those manifested themselves were my cancer, my cancer showing up. And you know, I have this belief that because I was able to work through that, those experiences, those traumas, that I've now been able to come out like so much lighter and so much happier, people ask me. You know I'll tell them yeah, I have, you know, terminal breast cancer. And there's always a pause. They always look at me, look from top to bottom, and say I'm just so sorry. I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry, it's a club I never wanted to be in, but I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 2:And so I wrote this chapter, this memoir chapter. I'm really proud of it and I think there's a lot that people can take from it that might help them in their experiences too. I blamed myself for so many things that happened to me as a kid and then again as a teenager, and I realized that I don't need to blame myself. I was a victim and I don't need to stay a victim. I'm going to empower myself now and move beyond that, moving from the surviving all of that into thriving and being more in control of you know what happens in my life and so in writing that chapter, it was very healing for me and I really hope everybody has an opportunity to get the book to read it. It's Desert to Mountaintops, the Pilgrimage of Motherhood. It comes out January 25th for you know you can go on Amazon and order it, or your bookstore. So yeah, that that.
Speaker 1:That was really yeah, we'll make sure to put that link in the show notes once it comes out and we can also do a live on Instagram and talk about that so that we can get that out there. It is astounding how many people I know who have gone through traumas like that you know, or very similar, and how many people don't even talk about it. It's kind of like, you know, back in the day you usually didn't hear people talking about breast cancer or cervical cancer or colon cancer or any kind of reproductive type you know cancers. It was something that was sort of tucked away and hush hush.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We just didn't talk about it. Well, like I didn't even know, my grandmother had cancer when she was younger. I had no idea, it was just something that was not talked about. I mean, she even had a baby that had Down Syndrome. That it was hush, hush and and scurried away and put into a home and I didn't even know about it for a long time, where today, you know, we have a lot of people, such as yourself and even you know, talking about breast cancer.
Speaker 1:It's out there Like we are amplifying it. We are like, hey, one in eight women get breast cancer. Hey, it's okay to advocate for yourself, it's okay to ask questions. You know all those things giving people permission to talk about things that are so important, because you have no idea how many people it helps, right? So just writing that story not even not only you know helps you heal and helps you understand yourself more, and again in the context of motherhood, you know it's just, it's it's so enlightening to people, and so I thank you for doing that. There are things in my childhood that I remember happening to me that I never talked about ever, and now I feel like I can, so I'm excited about your book. You also wrote a poem, and it was really to your daughter, lake, right? So can you talk about that poem?
Speaker 2:Sure, yeah, there is a magazine called Wildfire Magazine. It writes about issues specifically around young people's breast cancer. For the December young people's breast cancer For the December January issue that's coming out, the theme is mothers and daughters and I am the guest editor of that particular edition coming out. I wrote the editor's note and wanted to. There were a lot of things that were really important to me that I wanted to include in my editor's note. With the upcoming election, I had to write it and submit it prior to knowing what the election results were going to be. But there's so much at stake for our daughters moving forward for our lives, as mothers, for sure, who've been through breast cancer, but also at large, I wanted, with my book and with my writing, I want I want my daughter to know that, um, she is valued and you know she, she has autonomy over her own self and that that you know trusting your own body and loving your own body and is something that I'm very concerned is going away. It's being eroded, in particular with the election results. So, not that I want to get into that too much, but, yes, I did write this and I wrote an open letter to my daughter, lake and thanking her for showing me that you know, she demonstrates for me every day that I'm doing the right thing. Because you know, I see her and I am able to heal, because I see what my life would have, who I would have been had I been unconditionally loved and seen and heard, which I was not.
Speaker 2:As a child, I experienced severe trauma. My mother had bipolar disorder and was very abusive in all shapes and forms, and my father was an alcoholic and irresponsible, and so I grew up very quickly and parentification was a thing. So I grew up very quickly and parentification was a thing. I was constantly responding to how they were acting and putting my needs, my emotional needs, last, and so I like to nurture her in every way possible so that you know she has, she has, a better life than I did. So I, as as I'm transforming myself and in learning about myself and healing, I feel like I'm evolving alongside of her, and that, to me, is the greatest gift.
Speaker 1:That really is amazing, really really cool to hear that and that must feel so great to you, and Lake must be just such a wonderful girl.
Speaker 2:Yes, she's, and everyone calls her little Jillian because she really does look like me. And in fact the sweater I'm wearing she's got the same one on today. We're headed somewhere this afternoon, so cute. But you know, I often find myself in these quiet moments where I'm just observing and my heart just feels so filled with warmth and joy in just seeing her evolve my son as well. We have a different kind of relationship. You know, a mother-daughter relationship and a mother-son relationship is a little bit different. It doesn't lack the love in any way, shape or form, it's just how we relate to each other is a little bit different. And so the things like doing her hair. I never had anybody to do my hair and I always wanted to. I'd always look at my friends' moms and how they had these beautiful relationships and wondered why I didn't have that, you know. And so it's the little things that I take joy in.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I was thinking too with your son. He's watching you treat Lake this way. He's watching everything that you do, and I would imagine your husband is really good at raising him as well Raising a man, a boy, to be able to treat women with respect and, you know, learn not to gaslight, or you know things like that Right, so that that's a plus too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I would say that you know I always kind of joke. I have a few friends that have known my son Kai since he was a baby and he's always been a bit of an old soul and very his emotional intelligence you know his IQ there is really high. I value that because he sees also like how my husband and I love each other and I think you know the way he and his sister love each other. They're the best of friends. They fight sometimes, but not really. They really like each other and I love that. That's cool.
Speaker 1:I love that. Well, let's wrap this up. I would like just for you to give us an idea. I know that we, you know, recorded back in the fall, but can you talk a little bit about I rise foundation and because I really feel like this rap kind of comes full circle in helping women who've had breast cancer be able to connect with friends and, you know, kind of get on a path of healing, and IRISE is the foundation is so good for that. So can you give us an idea of what that's all about and what are some of the opportunities? Maybe the two trips that I know about that are coming up this year, this in 2025?.
Speaker 2:So we try to offer something for everybody. So we support young women after a breast cancer diagnosis so that they can cultivate an outstanding quality of life during and after breast cancer, so they can feel inspired and empowered and supported to do so, and so we provide tools and resources and strategies to do just that, so that they can rise above the residual effects of breast cancer, both physical and mental. So we provide wellness programs that are virtual and in-person, workshops and webinars and book clubs. We just are launching something new for the new year and it's filling up, which we're super excited about. I Rise Above is going to be producing its own anthology on an annual basis, so we invite women who are interested in in writing and you know, memoir writing to join us. So the first volume is our, so it's called Rising Above, which will be the book that comes out annually, and the first volume is our transformational journey to wholeness after breast cancer. So we have an excellent group of women from all different walks of life and experiences who have signed on. So that's coming up in the new year.
Speaker 2:What else am I missing? Oh yeah, trips and retreats. So we have retreats, which we like to include yoga and different types of body movement and something that's more like athletic as well. And so in the recent while we've been doing these retreats where we do some surfing and the idea is kind of just to push women outside of their comfort zone a little bit and to try something new. I mean, you know, the women after breast cancer a lot feel like they have a new lease on life and they want to try these things that they've never tried before. And so we also offer adventure trips, and so we've gone, we've done um a couple of times, we've been to Patagonia, we've done Mount Kilimanjaro, everest base Camp, and those are pretty active, you know hiking excursion trips, and so this year we'll be doing we're going to Machu Picchu in Peru and then also the Tour de Mont Blanc, so it's a hiking trip as well in Europe. So those are filling and, jamie, you're gonna be on the Peru, which I'm super excited about.
Speaker 1:I know and I'm not a young lady, I'm 57 years old, so you and I were talking about, you know, how there's a place for older women in the same room with younger women. I feel like because there's a lot of wisdom I remember taking. I remember being around older women and still to this day I'm, you know, I'm around older women, but I got a lot of wisdom from them and I I feel like there's a there's a place for that.
Speaker 2:For sure, you know, the um, the youngest woman age of a woman that was in our program was 23, which I was like goodness, I was a baby then. I didn't really know who I was, you know. So to be able to be surrounded by women who are confident and wise can really empower that person, and it's proven to be true. So, yeah, we, we also. And it's proven to be true. So, yeah, we also. It's also important, you know, I get the question a lot about. You know well, what about metastatic? Because it might appear on the outside that we just support early stage breast cancer, but that's not true. We have women. Like the retreat to Costa Rica, there were three of us who are metastatic, three of us who are metastatic, and so I think there's a lot of as well, in the same sort of way, a lot of wisdom that can be transferred and shared with women who are early stage as well. And it doesn't have to be a death sentence. I always say that I'm not dying from metastatic breast cancer, I'm living with it.
Speaker 1:So, yes, yes you are what I have to do. Well, and I just think you know, hearing all of these stories it's a. It's astounding how many stories I've heard since you know, since I started this podcast and since you know my own breast cancer diagnosis and even though some of our stories are different in how we were diagnosed, what we were diagnosed with like oh my God you know, and deep pain and wondering how and why we got this, and constantly. So we still have that, and so hearing other people's stories is really great.
Speaker 1:Well, jillian, I'm so happy that you and I had this conversation because I feel like the evolution of when we were both diagnosed and what we've gone through and what we've done to sort of channel that pain and trauma has helped us tremendously, and I know that there are so many people out there who are just really needing that inspiration and needing that guidance on how to get through this crazy type of diagnosis and any kind of cancer. So to people out there who've had colon cancer, colorectal cancer, cervical cancer, uterine cancer, any kind, this is something that can help so many on so many different levels. So I just really appreciate your joining me again and I am so honored and all the things about the fact that you and I are friends, and I can't wait to see you in person so I could give you a big hug, and I just wish you all the best throughout the holidays, and would you like to leave us with anything before we wrap up?
Speaker 2:Well, it's been my pleasure to Jamie that I just you know I adore you and everything that you're doing and spreading awareness and connecting people, and keep doing the good work You're you're amazing, thank you, you're amazing too.
Speaker 1:I feel like we're. We're like soul sisters, you, you're amazing too. I feel like we're. We're like soul sisters of some sort, right, all right.
Speaker 1:Well, you have a good rest of your day with your lovely family and, to my audience, thank you so much for joining us again and, as always, please, please, please, go to your favorite platform and rate and review this podcast. It truly does help get it out there to the rest of the world, and I just appreciate your efforts, and we will see you next time on the next episode of Test those Breasts. Bye for now, friends. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Test those Breasts. I hope you got some great much needed information that will help you with your journey. As always, I am open to guests to add value to my show, and I'm also open to being a guest on other podcasts where I can add value, so please reach out if you'd like to collaborate. My contact information is in the show notes and, as a reminder, rating, reviewing and sharing this podcast will truly help build a bigger audience all over the world. I thank you for your efforts. I look forward to sharing my next episode of Test those Breasts.
